The Secret
by BluePard
Summary: Valentine's fic. Rath thinks he's found out Thatz's secret. Shounen ai warning.
1. Rath Logic

  
It started as it always did. The day would be gorgeous, warm enough to forget your jacket, cool enough to think. The birds would tweet in a happy but not too annoying way. The breeze would ruffle his hair slightly, playfully. And he was just this close to getting something Done.  
Then Rath would walk by with a giant bag of something.  
Not something bleeding, Rune noted, which was a good sign. He occasionally wondered when would come the day he'd see Rath trotting happily by with Lord Lykouleon's head on a pike. This particular non-bleeding something seemed heavy even for Rath. He was walking like a three legged man.  
"Rath," said Rune, "What is that?"  
"What's what?"  
"That."  
Rath had to look over his shoulder, as though he didn't know he was carrying a bag bigger than himself.   
"Catnip."  
Rune paused.  
"Does Crewger have identity problems I'm not aware of?"  
Rath laughed. "Silly. It's not for Crewger."  
"Then...?"  
"Well..." Rath pulled his head so close their bangs mingled, and whispered the words Rune was so afraid of.  
"It's a secret."  
How many ways could this go wrong? "It's not to attract cat demons, is it?"  
"Nope," Rath started hobbling off again. "Hey, that's a good idea... demon-attracting stuff."  
Rune slapped himself. Okay, worse than demons. How many things were there worse than demons?  
"This doesn't have anything to do with that secret your keeping from us?" Maybe Rath was dying from some sort of odd disease that could only be treated by catnip. Well it ... could be medicinal.   
"Nope." Rath just kept on going, finally stopping in the residential hall. Their hall. He glanced back at Rune. "Uh..." "So, you're not dropping that off in your room."  
"Uh..."  
"Or my room."  
"Uh?"  
"So what exactly," said Rune, exasperated, "does Thatz need with catnip?"  
Rath set down the bag and cupped his hand around Rune's pointed ear. "Don't you know what day it is?"  
Rune blinked.  
"Valentine's! Ruuune!"  
"Oh..." Rune did know about Valentine's, although he always forgot the dates of human holidays. "A Valentine? Why?"  
"Because I like him! Rune, that's what you do on Valentine's."  
"I know, but..." Rune debated a moment whether Rath was coming out of the closet or just missing a critical point. It could wait. "Why _catnip?"_  
Rath glanced up and down the hallways. Then again. Finally, Rune glanced himself, interrupted by another whisper at his ear.  
"That's the secret. Thatz... is..."  
Rune strained to hear.  
"...a cat."  
Rune turned and stared at Rath's ultra-serious expression. "...that's it?" Rath nodded. "But that makes no sense!"  
"People get turned into animals," Rath shrugged. "Could work both ways."  
"But--"  
"Think about it, Rune. How does Thatz spend all his time?" Rath counted off on his fingers. "Eating, sleeping and chasing shiny things."  
Rune was about to argue, but... "Well, that is technically accurate."  
"Exactly." Rath nodded. "Thatz is a poor baby cat who's turned into a human."  
"So..." Rune was beginning to wish he had less idea how Rath's mind worked. "...you're giving him catnip."  
Rath shook his head rapidly, shouldering the bag with a grin. "Naw-uh. I'm gonna roll around in it and hope he joins me."  
Rune's tendency to cry in outrage was interrupted by the package pushed into his hands.  
"...now what's _this?!"_  
"Chocolate, of course, silly," Rath gave him a peck on the cheek. "I know elves don't like catnip."  
Rune stood there, blushing and staring at empty air while Rath made his way into Thatz's room and began building a nest around the (naturally) sleeping figure. Rune eventually recovered himself and peeked in, curious. After all, what were the chances?  
I'm a baby cat, meow meow... 


	2. Thats Love

The thing about elves is from an entirely different story, but I thought it'd be fun. Yes, I plan to continue this. 

  
After five minutes, the inevitable happened: Thatz snored again.  
"Wake uuuup!" Rath jumped up and down on the bed, sending the snoozing Thatz bouncing.  
Rune watched this for a moment before making his contribution. "Oh look, shineys. Hide them from Thatz."  
"Shineys? Where?!" Thatz grabbed his pillow defensively and turned all about. "You're not getting my shineys!"  
"He's awake!" Rath tackled him, sending them into a pile of catnip. Thatz sneezed.  
"Ehh? What's all this grass doing in my room?"  
"It's not grass, it's..." Rath paused. Maybe Thatz didn't want them to know he was a kitty. He changed gears. "It's for you!"  
"What am I supposed to do with it?"  
"Roll around in it!" said Rath, demonstrating.  
Thatz eventually ripped his eyes away from the interesting sight of Rath gleefully rolling around in his bed. "That's what dollar bills are for. Rune, what are you doing?"  
"Nothing," said Rune, hiding the chocolates.  
Rath stopped rolling. "You don't like it?"  
"Erk... of course I..." Thatz sneezed again. Maybe he was allergic? He put a finger under his nose and gave up. "Okay, you and me are taking a bath, and then I'm sleeping with Rune."  
_"What?!"_  
"Well, I can't sleep here."  
"You," said Rune, "Are going to take a bath with him," he pointed, "then sleep," erk, "in _my_ bed?!"  
"I can't sleep in Rath's bed," said Thatz. "He keeps me up."  
Rune just stared. He wasn't even going to attempt that one.  
"Rune's a closet pervert~"  
"Oh, that explains it." Thatz pulled off his shirt and started heading to the baths. "He is really girly..."  
"You're the ones who are acting perverted!"  
Thatz was about to reply, but then something happened. The others weren't sure what, but it was soon obvious. There was a strange noise in the air.  
The catnip had kicked in.  
"Nice kitty?" Rath pet Thatz on the head and won a purr. Thatz nuzzled up, licking Rath's neck, draping himself over Rath's shoulders. "That tickles!" Rath pulled back and wound up pounced; in a moment the two were tumbling on the bed. Rune could only watch in disbelief as his fellow Knights playfought; it wouldn't have been so bad if Thatz hadn't already taken his shirt off.   
Rune swallowed. "You know... I'm beginning to think the bath... cold water... is a good idea."  
Thatz replied by lapping at Rath's neck again.  
"I don't mean that kind of a bath!" Rune waded through the catnip and hoisted Thatz up by his collar; Thatz hung in the air with a doe-eyed expression. "The sooner we get you away from this stuff, the better."  
"But... it's his present--" protested Rath, tagging after Rune puppy-like.  
"I'm sorry, Rath, but it's making him act strange."  
"Mew?"  
"But..." Rath's voice softened. "Rune, you don't want your present either? You threw it away?"  
"No, of course not, I've got it right here," Rune pulled out the complete and unopened box.  
"You don't want it, though..." Rath turned away. It was not as though he looked heartbroken or even that sad, but... his expression was so distracting, somehow, Rune barely even noticed Thatz nuzzling at his stomach.  
"I just... not right this..." Rune sighed. "Of course I like them. I love chocolate."  
"Then have one!" Gone was any sign of Rath being hurt, and he was tearing away the wrapping.  
"Er, but--" Rune was silenced by the caramel cream popped into his mouth. Melting. Gooey. Warm. And best of all, full of sugar.  
It is a rarely known fact that elves, being so in tune with nature and especially trees, are therefore highly sensitive to the process of pollenization and their product, aka, fruit. Fruits, of course, are packed with natural saccharin in order to attract produce sellers and thereby spread their seed. To an elf, even a common place loaf of white bread is quite sweet. But the most important thing to know, the result of all that, is this:  
You must never, ever give an elf chocolate.  
_"I like this,"_ said Rune. And took another.  
Elsewhere, people were communicating with the dead.  
"Beware..." said Sarazar. She was fading out.  
"What? Is something coming?"  
"Beware... the chocolate..."  
There was a long pause.  
"You don't suppose the dead can go senile?"  
Little did they know...


	3. Rune plus Sugar equals Apocalypse

Sorry about the delay, this is the last bit.

  


  
Rath tilted his head to the side, carefully examining the picture before him. Something was wrong. Perhaps it was that Rune had not even noticed Thatz batting around his hair, and eventually getting tangled up in it. Or Thatz's subsequent mewling and nuzzling attempts to get Rune's attention.  
Perhaps it was because Rune was giggling.  
In any case, he shrugged it off. At least both of them had really seemed to enjoy his presents.  
"Rune, you said something about a bath?"  
"I haven't time for baths! I must..." Rune's eye shone pure determination. "_--frolic!!_"  
And he squee'd and ran down the hall, Thatz dragged behind him.  
Rath blinked. "....well, that's new."  
Thatz eventually scrambled onto Rune's shoulders, although getting out of Rune's hair was trickier. He even tried calling Earth for help, but the mini dragon just patted him on the head. He'd always considered Thatz to be his pet.  
Rath, meanwhile, had lost track of the high-speed elf in the massive palace. He followed the signs of destruction. A disheveled and dizzy dragon officer clung to a banister.  
"What the... g... 'gumdrops and lollipops?'"  
"Tetheus! Do you know which way he went?"  
"I think he was headed..."  
A pregnant pause.  
"...to the Lord's room."  
Rath gasped. It couldn't be! He wouldn't! Yet, as he reached it and knocked the door aside, there stood the two bishounen old men themselves. Lykouleon was simply staring at Rune, who looked quite the villain, clothed in shadows and petting Thatz with a maniacal grin. The fact that Thatz was rubbing up against him in what probably wasn't an appropriate manner only made it more frightening.  
"My lord..."  
"Uhhh... um.... err... Rune?" Lykouleon stepped back, a nervous grin on his face. This was strange even for the knights.  
"My lord... I have something I've been meaning to talk to you about..." Rune stepped into the dramatic high contrast light of the large window.  
Rath tensed. He couldn't...  
"This is it. You," Rune pointed an accusing finger, "shall be my valentine!"  
_"NOOOOO~!"_ Rath was between them in an instant. "Lykouleon, I challenge you! Rune and Thatz are MY boyfriends!"  
".....w... what?"  
"You can't have them!" Rath stood defiant, sword appearing from nowhere as well as Fire, who repeatedly hit him over the head with a tiny "idiot!" placard.  
"Um... you know... I really..." Lykouleon coughed. "I was going to spend today with Raseleane."  
"Rath! Don't get in the way!"  
Rath turned on his heel, and turned from valiant warrior to teary-eyed boy. "But... but..."  
Rune bustled by him. "My lord, your response?" He looked serious for a moment, then started jumping up and down with anticipation, while making noises like "fwee!" and "waii!"  
Lykouleon watched this for a moment, then turned to Rath. "Someone gave him sugar, didn't they?"  
"...is that bad?"  
Before Lykouleon could answer, he was bowled over by an enthusiastic elf and attached cat-boy.   
Rath gasped at the tangled pile of limbs. "That's bad! Don't worry, Rune, I'll save you from sugar!" He leapt forward, then paused. Hrrrrmmm. He flopped down on the couch. "Actually, maybe I could just watch for awhile."  
"Rath!"  
"Yeees, Lykouleon?"  
"This isn't funny!"  
Rath kicked his feet up leisurely. The dragon lord had wound up beneath both knights, one of with the hots for him and the other nuzzling anything that moved.  
"Yeah, I think it is."  
"RAAAATH!"  
Rath pillowed his hands behind his head. "So, I can keep them? No competition or anything?"  
"You'll have to ask them about that, Rath," said the dragon lord, his voice biting because he was blushing so badly. "But I am certainly not going near you three for a long while."  
"Okay!" Rath was up in a moment and disentangling his comrades. Or, at least, disentangling Lykouleon. He and Thatz managed the opposite, really getting in Rune's hair--but wasn't that always the case?  
Lykouleon fled, leaving Rune to make unhappy whimpering noises. Thatz pounced him, Rune tickled in revenge, and the playfighting began anew.  
"I love this holiday," said Rath. "But... didn't you guys get me anything?"  
In reply, Thatz licked his nose, and Rune gave them both a random hug before launching into a rant about how very much he liked the color purple.  
"...that'll do," said Rath. With this much catnip, he could wait 'til next year.  
"Alfeegi! I LOVE YOU!"  
"What are you doing?!"  
...or maybe not.

(Dragon Knights: The Secret) end 


End file.
